"Hello, Peasants. It’s been awhile… Anyway, It’s another year of Prom and yes a chance to confess, to be with your love one, to sneak out from your parents to get laid… I’m here to remind you all to use safe sex. Condom exist for a reason and I want you to use it. No buts, no ifs. Hell is getting crowded and I don’t want you little plonkers to add more problems. I hope I made that clear. Now go, shag whoever you want but make sure to put protection."
"Ah, giving a present to your one and only, workaholic, hmm? I suppose it’s better late than never. I’d say, go for the blue scarf m’boy. Then again, a nice evening in bed with him while stark naked doesn’t require money. And why would I bother giving you a gift?! Can’t you see I hate bloody Christmas? Now off, don’t come back until December ends."